Steam Crow

Ruled by coal and oil, these cast iron behemoths grind up and down the monster highways like heavy metal cattle. (But six times more dangerous.) In order to rule the road, you’ve gotta know the autos on it.

The Sigmore Imp is the workhorse of the Monstru highway system. Tens of hundreds of thousands of these were churned out of the Sigmore factory over the course of 80 years. They are not well known for their air conditioning systems, but if you’ve got 300 Crowbucks, you’ve got one. $300-$900

The Sigmore Thrull came out a few seasons ago, and is a roomier and more comfortable ride than the Imp. Unfortunately, the “Quad-Orb boiler” is prone to random and sudden explosions. It would have been nice if the bumpers were not “optional”. $800-$1800.

Gaunt Doomhaul is a flexible truck, used to haul lumber, bones, and iron to the distant cities of Monstu. While the Doomhaul is no Sigmore Imp, they are exceptionally common. This one features an Kindle Stokechurn steam engine, a real find.

The Gaunt Utilitruck is used by many repairmen, plumbing goblins, and elecricians with a lot of equipment to haul. The Utilitruck handles very similar to a cinder block dipped in whale honey.

Similar to a prison on wheels, this Monstru City Transito is a hard, iron beast of a bus. Outfitted with stiff copper benches, chain link windows, and an assortment of ejection panels, no-one gets in or gets out without the driver’s permission.

The Dirge Deluxe is both stylish and dangerous. Featuring a twin-hull howl furnace and crisp detailings, the Dirge offers exclusive amenities while you waste your life in hopeless traffic. You’ll look great in your doom.

The Trollthrottle Spruce is the primary sub-compact competitor for the Sigmore Imp, and it’s making waves across this monster country of ours. The Spruce is newer, faster, and better in endless ways. Trust me. With the optional “antlers” you’ll look like a third-level manager as you dodge your way through the rushweek traffic like a Tzar. Nevermind the fact that the “spruce” name is another lackluster error from the Trollthrottle design team; it was originally titled the “Noose”.

If you’re seeking a powerful motoring machine (on a budget), then look no further than the Trollthrottle Vair. Notice the generous roof spines, the gentle curve of glass on steel, and the optional Thunderchoke 338 VK Engine. These details make the Vair an exceptionally dangerous choice of auto for powerful professionals on the go. As in all Trollthrottle models, it’s made from durable war-surplus parts and quality glue-rivots. Order yours today!